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  • Writer's pictureJae Ritchie

Are we really broken?

Updated: Apr 24, 2023

Catching a glimpse of my distorted image in the fragments of mirror scattered across the floor, its presence echoing the depth of the ever present never good enough mantra that lived within my heart and soul. What is wrong with you? Why do you wreck everything in your path? Why are you so broken?

Not once in 50+ years had I shared how I truly felt about myself with anyone. Outwardly I presented confidence, strength, a take no prisoners attitude toward life. Most days, in most situations, this was my truth. Unapproachable and distant - I wore these badges with pride. Letting no one get close enough to see what my wife would later coin my gooey marshmallow inside. That part of me that longed for the connection that eluded me as a child.

By the spring of 2019 I was no longer able to outrun the demons that lived within me. I convinced myself I was going into therapy to help me understand how my children could struggle with such deep levels of depression and anxiety - why couldn't they pull themselves up by their bootstraps? After all my childhood was no walk in the park and I was fine.

The rest as they say is history. Four years into my journey I am still in some respects that shattered image. My therapist, Ashleigh, assures me I never I was. My childhood might have been broken, my circumstances might have been broken, but I am whole and beautiful. I find myself wanting to believe her and often times do. Just as I witness wholeness settling within me, I am reminded that there is so much more to be done. When I first imagined this blog, I saw myself as Broken Becoming Bold. On lap, I have no idea, at the local indoor track I began to realize that while I have certainly become far bolder than I have ever allowed myself before, I have in fact become so much more over the past four years. As I pondered this incredible adventure I have been on, those terms identifying who I have become rolled through my mind, alphabetically as if it was a sign.

Becoming a firm believer in signs over the past six months this is where we shall begin. Twenty-six terms that describe my journey. Twenty-six entries detailing my journey. Twenty-six chances to BECOME the person the Universe meant for me to be. Twenty-six pieces of myself being held to a higher standard.

The adventure awaits!

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